The great dress search

I've tried on about a dozen wedding dresses so far, and I'd like to share some of my experiences and what I've learned.

First of all, why in God's green earth are bridal gowns sized so horrifically? I'm pretty short, and about a dress size 10, although I go down as low as a 6 on top and as large as a 14 on the bottom, depending on the store. I generally wear a size medium. In other words, I'm curvy but not huge. All the bridal gown samples are size 10-12, which sounds like a majority of girls can fit into them. Except that the samples aren't a size 10-12, they're more like size 4-6. And short little hourglass me can barely get one bodacious hip into them.

So the consultants roll up their sleeves and squish my badonkadonks in with bungee cords and big plastic clips and extra panels of fabric and biceps and duct tape and helpful statements like "you'll need a girdle" and "JUST SUCK IT IN" and "we'll order you a size 18 if you like."

Holy mother of all that is body complex!

Bridal gown shopping has a way of making you feel like you've suddenly gained fifty pounds and are abnormally large and strangely shaped. I've been staying mostly sane by trying on a maximum of 5-6 dresses per store and going out for a cold beer immediately afterward. I recommend this.

Anyway, I quickly had the bright idea to try on a dress that was more than double my budget (oops). I felt gorgeous (four figures worth of crystal will do that). I didn't want to take it off. I was smiling and laughing and I felt lovely. My sister took photos and I emailed them out to my mom, other sister and best friends (all of whom are out of town) to get second opinions.

They all wrote nice things, but one comment stuck out from one of my closest friends. She wrote "you look really happy in it."

And then I was on Pinterest looking for more styles I liked, and guess what I saw? Here's a hint:

 

It's not about the dress. It's about the smile. 

So I've abandoned the overly expensive crystal dress and I'm going to the inexpensive local salon today. I have a vague idea of what looks good on my body now, but more importantly, I know what I want to look like. 

This: 

That's me grinning my damn ass off in no make-up, dirty beach hair and a $10 tank top. That's what I want to look like on my wedding day.

I'm going to try to ignore those mean dress size labels and find something I can dance, eat and laugh in. I'm not going to stress about color or designer or being blogworthy or vintage or whatever. I just want to smile. And if I can do that in a $10 tank, I shouldn't have to spend $5000 (plus tax, alterations and a $300 "pattern-change charge" to get the f-er over my chest). Right?

Any more advice from ladies who have been there?

Photos via Style Me Pretty, Crystal Clear Imagery via Style Me Pretty, Ruffled, East Side Bride